39 weeks ~ The waiting…
The waiting.
The end of the third trimester where time warps, stands still & speeds up all at the same time~ dimensions collide & the veils open wider.
The limbo.
The space between savouring the last moments of pregnancy, wanting to hold onto this experience but also being SO done & so ready to meet your baby.
The body morphing at rapid speed, all the strange bodily signs signalling labour is nearing~ the stop & start of prelabour, I didn’t get to experience this with my first ~ also, how is it possible for my belly to feel any bigger & tighter?
Breathing through it all, helping me master the breath in prep for birth~ remembering to dance & move, trusting my sacred womb is preparing just the way it needs to~ rising with the bursts of nesting energy, & collapsing with the tiredness & exhaustion, night & day merging into one, time definitely an illusion~ immersing in the oxytocin bubble at every opportunity, nurturing my open, sensitive energy (I think I’ve cried 6 times today)~remaining patient & present but also acknowledging my tenderness & need to retreat inwards~ I don’t know how many more “how you feelings” & “any baby yet” I can respond to. I also am well versed in all the ways one can naturally “induce labour” & I’m really not about “trying it all” & rushing this little baby, they have their own timeline to stick to.
I’m moving & nourishing my body in all the right ways, I haven’t had a choice with a pelvis that easily comes out of alignment (pregnancy SPD isn’t fun) but yes, give me all the love making & sweet tender moments of love that come with the dance of waiting & birthing.
& with all of that I will sink into this realm & soak in these last moments of inbetween worlds, before I journey to the cosmos to finally bring my baby home.
I’ll soak in the dreams, the visions & the ability to see between the veils that this moment offers me~ I’ll cry & laugh & release all that needs to come from me before my vessel & baby choose when the time is right~ this is mine & my babies journey & I must remember it is unlike anyone else’s & will unfold in its own divine way~
& if I’m feeling the defeat or inpatience I’ll remember come back to re-read this. Last night I dreamt of holding my baby for the first time, a little boy (although the gender will be a sweet surprise) ~ we gazed into eachother eyes & I felt their soul so close to mine,
baby letting me know it’s not long now.
Oh the waiting & the loving .
📸 self portrait at 35 weeks pregnant~ because self portraits at 39 weeks aren’t feeling so glamourous.
